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Ay, there's the rub.

Cronut Craze

Is anything a greater testament to my lack of physical fitness than the fact that I tore my cartilage from waiting in line for cronuts??

Something I will probably never have the opportunity to eat
credit: manrepeller.com
The kicker: I didn't actually get any cronuts. I was probably 25 people away from the last person who managed to get one, and then a scalper unfolded his bindle full of cronuts and I knew there was no hope for me. But I stayed in line anyway because I was there for the experience! Also, I had already invested 1.5 hours into waiting.

There was a lot of drama in line, which I live-tweeted about here, along with my reasonings as to why I waited two hours for desserts I did not actually obtain, the main reasons being that it was my last month in New York (I had to experience ALL the things!) and I wasn't doing anything else that morning because I couldn't sleep (i.e. I actually probably could have been first in line that day, being awake at 4:40 am, but chose to roll around for a few hours).

The most dramatic thing, of course, is that after I purchased my DKAs (I am too lazy to look up what this stands for exactly [Dominique's Kofi Annan's or something like that]. Just know that I thought it was diabetic ketoacidosis when I first heard the acronym) a Japanese news agency asked if they could interview me while I was exiting the bakery. Like I was a diva!!! An even bigger diva move: I said no, primarily because I looked like a zombie from a night of sleeplessness (Not a diva trait. Divas never look like zombies.).

Anyway, back to my torn cartilage. About 2 days after the cronut expedition, I felt a golf ball-shaped lump on the back of my knee. Because I am a huge hypochondriac, I was all "Omg, cancer!!!11" but some Internet sleuthing and medical assessments concluded it was just a cyst. More specifically, a Baker's cyst caused by torn cartilage! Of course, I do not know exactly how/when I tore my cartilage, but as I felt that standing for two hours without really moving was the most physical exertion I have had in about 10 years (I have been making a concerted effort to avoid organized forms of physical activity since 2002. I took modern dance for PE in high school, primarily because it involved lying on the floor for the majority of class. My favorite part of yoga is shivasana, aka group nap time. I will say my brief stint on the track team was temporary insanity.), the cronuts were probably what did me in.

As I feel my life borders on being frightfully dull most of the time, I am glad I tried the whole waiting in line for cronuts thing, but of course it would have been nice to actually eat a cronut to see what all the hype was about. The chances are high, however, that I would not have actually enjoyed said cronut because Dominique Ansel has been trying out a variety of fruit flavors and I hate most fruit-flavored things.

Buying me a cronut would be a most excellent gift! As I have left New York now, it seems I will never have the pleasure of eating one. Furthermore, I need to save some face with my former roommates, who thought that waiting in line for 2 hours for nothing was the height of patheticness. I even brought them DKAs! Those ingrates.

Shara1 Comment